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As human beings, we are very good at spotting the negatives in our lives. Historically, being able to spot them may have been a survival tool – avoiding that cliff, the poisonous plant, the predator on the hunt. Paying attention to potential pitfalls has a personal survival benefit, as well as benefits for our families and community.
However, if we only pay attention to past, current and future negative events and stressors, we can become depressed, anxious and exhausted.
Awareness and acknowledgment of the positive (Good Things do happen!) on a daily basis can help us balance ourselves emotionally. Unfortunately, our built-in tendency to look for the negative makes automatic awareness of the positive difficult. We have to deliberately look for the positive. A structured way to do that is called the “Three Good Things” exercise.
In this exercise we take a few minutes at the end of each day and ask ourselves: what Three Good Things happened today, what was my role in bringing them about and how did they make me feel?
Instructions:
Even something as simple as: “I watched a pretty sunset and felt awe” is a Good Thing that you did that brought you a positive emotion.
The research done on this technique asks that people do it for 14 days straight and do it a couple of hours before bed each of the 14 evenings. Results indicate benefits after a week or two and the benefits continued for 6-12 months after the two-week exercise. (!) (Nothing in the research literature indicates doing it for more 14 days is bad for you.)
That’s it! It sounds almost too simple, but it has been shown to work, again and again.
In summary: The goal here is to train yourself to pick out some good things from among the stresses of everyday life and make clear to yourself all is not unpleasant or exhausting. Again, we are very good at recognizing the negative and poor at remembering the positive. By focusing on positive things that have happened to you, you can help yourself deal with negative mood states.
If you want to learn more, here are some resources:
An internet search for “Three good Things” will provide multiple websites for you to try. One that is not trying to sell something is from the University of California at Berkeley: https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things
Doing a search on YouTube will show you multiple videos that discuss Three Good Things. One that is not trying to sell you something is: https://www.youtube.com/embed/hZ4aT_RVHCs?rel=0 . This is from Bryan Sexton, PhD one of the primary researchers on reducing burnout among healthcare workers.
There are a number of journal-style books that are available from your favorite bookseller. A search for “three good things journal” should bring up a number of possibilities if you would like to keep a diary/journal of Good Things.
There are a number of “apps” for Android and iOS. Search for “three good things” in your favorite app store and you should be able to find several to try.
There has been a large amount of scientific research on the efficacy of the Three Good Things exercise. You can find that research on Google Scholar and PubMed. A simple search for “three good things” should provide you with numerous articles.
3-5 minutes at the end of each day is not a huge time commitment. Multiple research studies have shown clear benefits. Give it a try!
Cheers!
Mike Feeley
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